So it's like this feeling of bloody emptiness, of suddenly realizing you are totally alone. It's terrifying.
Yet only at the beginning.
After a while, your limbs start experimenting a tickling flow moving towards the rest of your body. Until it reaches the heart. Wildfire. Oh, that sweet moment... Then all is lost. There's no way back. There's no way to stop what is about to happen (what is already happening): freedom has reached your heart.
How could you look back when you've experienced such a bittersweet taste?

Love from Melbs.

THE TAXY GUY: A BRIEF LOVE STORY

Due to my drunk teenager times living in the suburbs of Barcelona, I had to deal with a lot of taxi drivers. And believe me if I tell you that they, wherever around Europe but specially in Barcelona, can be considered a specie apart from human beings. Experts agree that because they spend that many boring hours driving, their psyche evolved somehow differentially that the rest of humans. They tend to behave like the word stranger wouldn’t exist. I took a lot of taxis and I've talked about really personal stuff with those guys. They keep a sort of a particular tenderness that makes me smile when I talk to them.

Today I left home. So just because I am a lazy modern girl, somehow nostalgic and allergic to Spanish public transport, I decided to take a taxi to the airport. The taxi driver was everything but cute.

He first asked what was going on with my voice. In his opinion, my voice resembled to this kind of voice one has when comes back home from a wild Friday night (OK). He told me I should call him “the cowboy of love”, so it was in that precise moment when I decided I'll write about him.

He told me that even though he had never studied at all, he is an entrepreneur. He decided to quit school and start working at 18 in order to earn enough money to fix his teeth, because he had such a bad mouth physiognomy. Nowadays he works hard and in his free time he likes to comment posts on www.forocoches.com (WTF). 

It seems that he works out in the gym quite often because he loves to see himself on the mirror and recognise a “male profile”. He told me he felt extremely comforted when looking at this “male profile” on his body. I told him that I was wondering how a “male profile” looks like, but in case one day I could understand, I am sure I also would like to see it on me.

But well, he confessed me he was actually looking for an entrepreneur girl who can appreciate his special sense of humour. I think he was kind of obsessed with the entrepreneurship topic so I've asked him what was his perception of the current situation of entrepreneur people in Spain. He gave me such an explanation which I did not understand at all. Probably because he was trying to use words he couldn’t even pronounce. Besides that, he used all the time both concepts “objective” and “subjective” in a wrong way. Which took me a while to figure out that he eventually had switched both meanings when he learnt these words. However, at this point of time I couldn’t stop laughing thinking about the “male profile” stuff (sorry, after my stage in A’dam I sometimes need extra time to process information).

After such a master class it came the funniest part of the journey, when out of the blue he asked me if I had friends around Barcelona. To such a question I answered that not that many, that I sometimes was feeling kind of alone. Then he told me I was the cutest thing he ever did see. I told him I didn’t give an absolute shit. Pretending he didn’t hear none of my words, he made a second confession. He told me that there was only one thing in the world he'd love more than listening my late-night party voice all day long, and it was to see me driving. He suddenly stopped the taxi in a side of the road and we swapped positions fast.

So yeah, there it is: I was driving a Mercedes taxi to the airport with a young driver shifting gears together with me in the middle of a sunny April day. It was lovely. We spoke about life, friendship and woman, and then he let me drive his taxi (Oh man, how much I missed driving cars). I'm still wondering if he's feeling proud of his “male profile” and if he sometimes thinks about me. I do. He didn’t want to charge me, so it was the cheapest taxi drive I've ever had.  

"Some people call me the space cowboy and some call me the gangster of love."

SPRING IS COMING

"I could write to you for hours and hours...I promise, I will learn to tell stories, and I will come up with new words to tell you anytime that I love you as no one."

EL PONCHO

Imagine this kind of guy who is a player. Super hot guy. Super stupid as well. 
Imagine that on a friday's night you start talking to a northern girl in a club's restroom because of yeah, you're sometimes quite shameless. 

Imagine that you discover due to the random serendipity that both of you have been dating this guy in the same period of time. But, oppositely to the cute northern, you are not surprised at all because you're kind of an oldie now. You've learnt from all this shit and you can only get hurt from persons you truly respect, not from assholes. So following your adopted british philosophical skepticism, you just rise your eyebrows saying an inexpressive "well".  

Imagine then, that after the initial shock you check his instagram in a middle of a cold city thousands of kms away. 

Imagine that it's the international day of the woman (or something like that) and he has posted some bullshit about how important woman are and how much respect they deserve. We wouldn't be here without you, he says. 

Imagine now, oh how curious, he seemed to be different from all.

"Sorry, but one can't live for love, sex and rock'n'roll."

MY PEPPERS ARE FULL

So pissed off to move on nowhere else than forward.
So pissed off about that the present is already the past in such a dictatorial manner that cannot be real. Fact that, in addition, cannot be understood by her human and simple mind. 
Fuck the system (in general).
Fuck the past (especially). 
Fuck the verbal conjugation of the past. 
Fuck off the shitty past pluscuaperfect's verb conjugation in the subjunctive regime. 
Fuck off and die now.

"Do you remember when I was young and beautiful?

Me neither"

A NORMAL DAY

On a normal day you wake up quite early, eventually. Dirty dishes on the sink, but it's ok (you don't mind anymore). You take a shower listening your Basté on the radio, slowly and quietly so you don't wake up her and she can still sleep for a while after her AH journey. You prepare a disgusting sandwich of "I-don't-know-what", dry your hair and wear your snowboarding feminine jacket, beloved by everyone. 

Then, you bike flying to the university with your bag full of stupid stuff, probably because it's been a long time since you haven't been able to go out accompanied just only by your thoughts. And an old angry woman passes you by with her blue eyes semi-closed for the wind. And she looks at you, or not. In fact, she doesn't give a shit about how fast are you biking, what you are doing or if you are dying on the wet ground. 

You park the bike in your favourite spot with apathy trying to keep all your multiple cold items with you. Coffee. Coffee, please. Floor 12 (among others) and you find him trying to understand a financial graph for 10 hours. And then you just wonder why he's still your friend..and why you haven't killed him before. Bah, you just hug him. 

You work relentlessly (or at least you pretend it) during the whole day. Coffee. Coffee, please. Look at that! Such a nice sunset...And then you come back home with the weird feeling you have done absolutely nothing and your butt is getting fat for seconds.

The trash bags are next to the door, but it's ok (you don't mind anymore). And with a starving hunger you start cooking with them while waiting for him to come back from his respectable job. When he's back, you ask him how was the day and he tells you that was ok, a normal day. Finally, you all together (Steve included) eat a strange handmade pasta without salt. And you laugh about bullshit. But this time you meant it. You laugh truly as when you were 8 years old (omg, this golden age).

And while you are checking how much would cost to buy an island in   privateislandsonline.com, you have this warm feeling that kind of comforts and saddens you at once. And it's then, in this precise moment, when you wonder what the hell you would have done without them in your daily life. And the only thing you can think about is how lucky you are to be able to enjoy them so up close.

"Important things are always tenderly told on normal days"